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DREAMGIRLS
a la The Flixter

      Its the 1960s and the place is Detroit. Curtis Taylor Jr. (Jamie Foxx) is a car salesman with his eyes set on bigger things. He wants to start his own record label and make it big in the music business. So in come the Dreamettes, a trio of young girls looking to make it big in the music business. They are young and they are attractive so it looks like a good combination. There's Beyonce Knowles' Deena Jones, Anika Noni Roses' Larrell Robinson, and Jennifer Hudson's Effie White. Effie is the lead singer and her brother CC is the one who has come up with all their dance moves. But Effie doesn't get too much attention; Curtis wants to put the more attractive Deena in the spotlight. But what he does is get them a stint singing backup for James "Thunder" Early.... That would be Eddie Murphy's character who is making some waves with his blend of soul and rock n roll. He is a womanizer as well, focusing more on Deena's looks than Effie's talents. So, of course, things start getting a little rough as the once close knit family of the Dreamettes starts feeling some tensions within itself.

       Let me say right now that I don't like musicals. Music and songs can be a great plot enhancer, but I can't stand songs being the narrative. Which becomes the case here on a few occasions. The acting is good, and the musical numbers are well choreographed. But like I said before.... it's not really my type of thing. By the way, let me tell you folks, that I may not be going to the movies as much in the next couple of weeks. You can blame Chich. Yes, that friend of mine (real name Frankie) who is a big Bruce Willis fan. Actually he also happened to own one of my favorite hangouts, Ross Brothers. Yes, it was a bar and I spent plenty of time there. No, I am not some drunk-it was just a good place to hang out with friends and shoot some pool. Its been closed for a while and will finally be opening again this weekend. So you guys can probably find me there and discuss movies, music, and life the way we used to....... So come to where Apples was.

      Back to the movie, now. Yeah, it was okay. The best thing about it was a preview for Shrek The Third.

RATING: THREE STARS

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ANOTHER HOLIDAY BACKLOG
a la The Flixter

       Yeah, yeah, I know I am slacking off lately, but the title alone should give you reason to understand why... Yesterday was Christmas. So its been a little hectic lately. Since the big day has come and gone, I figured that I should say a few words about my recent movie going endeavors.

      So here goes: I went to see Rocky Balboa on opening night and it was jammed. In case you missed it, Rocky lost most of the fortune he made in the boxing ring. Now he owns a restaurant where he spends a lot of time mingling with the customers and telling stories from his glory days. His sweetheart, Adrian, has also died from "woman cancer."  But he still goes to her grave religiously where he puts a chair by the tombstone and talks away. His brother in law, Paulie (Burt Young) is still his old self, holding a meager job and getting in trouble with his mouth. His son is a successful broker, or something along those lines, and tries to detach himself from his father's legacy which his friends are always inquiring about.

      Then there's a virtual reality boxing match that hypothetically pits the current heavy weight champ, Mason Dixon, against the Italian Stallion... and that raises some issues regarding who would win. Needless to say, Rocky Balboa, rises up to the challenge and steps back in the ring to take on the young one. So how fair is to pit the old timer against a younger and faster opponent? Well, the boxing commission allows it to happen and Rocky gets back into the training mode, which is definitely not easy.

      I won't give anything away by saying that I saw this movie without any inkling of what the outcome may be. Is it good? Definitely. I like the other five Rocky movies and its good to see Stallone acknowledging his own shortcomings at the movies by way of his most memorable character. Funny, sad, and thoroughly watch-able.

      Next up was Night at the Museum. With a cast featuring Ben Stiller and Robin Williams, you'd expect a great time. I was stupid enough to do that. Here, Stiller plays Larry Daley, who is forced to take a job as a night watchman at New York's American Museum of Natural History. During his orientation, the two old timers (Dick Van Dyke and Mickey Rooney) tell him that he has to make sure not to let anything in, or out, after closing time. Out? Well that's what Larry is pondering when he realizes what they may have meant. Turns out that because of an ancient tablet that accompanies a mummy in the museum, everything comes to life in the museum at night. Yes, the T Rex comes to life along with all the other wildlife and humans that are on display. There's Attila the Hun, Teddy Roosevelt (Robin Williams), and so many more... So the job is definitely more than Larry was expecting. The first night, he is stunned. The second night, he tries to make friends and get his bearings straight. And the third night he tries to help his newfound colleagues...

     The special effects are pretty good, but the rest is not so great. The humor is childish and the outcomes predictable. I wasn't expecting much and got even less.

RATING:

 Rocky Balboa: FIVE STARS

 Night at the Museum: ONE STAR

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THE PURSUIT OF HAPPYNESS
a la The Flixter

       Things go from bad to much, much worse for Chris Gardener (Will Smiith). He is struggling to sell medical supplies so he can support his wife and child; but he is not doing too well at it. To put it in better terms, he is not selling anything. Then his wife (Thandie Newton) decides to leave him. He has to take care of his young son, played by Smith's actual son, Jaden Christopher Smith. Well, putting a roof over their heads becomes a struggle, when they get evicted from their apartment. Additionally, Christopher has a lot of parking tickets to pay, so his car gets towed. The two have to get in line, so they can get a spot in the local homeless shelter. By the way, Chris has gotten an internship at a stock brokerage firm. He only has a high school education and manages to land the job thanks to his charm and quick wit. But that job is not helping out at the moment since it is one based on commission and not a weekly paycheck.

      So life is a hard struggle for this single father trying to hold on to whatever he can, while things around him are crumbling. The movie is based on a true story, and there is a real Christopher Garden. Knowing that much assures us that there will be a happy ending. But getting there is one rough road. The movie, I will admit, is extremely sad and will probably bring a tear to your eye. But it also has to be one of the best movies of the year. Will Smith does an excellent job worthy of, at the very least, an Oscar nomination... And his son shows the same charm as dad. Love this movie....

RATING: FIVE STARS

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APOCALYPTO
a la The Flixter

       So a crumbling Mayan civilization is going through a bad drought. What to do? Well, how about sacrificing some people to please the gods so they will shed some rain on the drying villages. So one village attacks the other; many are slaughtered, and prisoners are taken back. Women are sold off as servants while the men are taken atop a giant pyramid where their still beating hearts are ripped out of their chests and the heads are chopped off and thrown down the steps of the pyramid. Is this it?

      Well, not really. Let me go back a little. When the village is attacked, one of the dwellers, Jaguar Paw (Rudy Youngblood), hides his expectant mate (I am not sure if she is a girlfriend, fiancée, or wife) and young son in a hole in the ground. His mind is set on escaping, reaching them, and rescuing them from that dark pit, and when he does escape and the movie changes gears. Up to that point it has just been a gore fest, with limbs and heads getting lopped off and people dying in the most horrible fashions imaginable. How horrible? Well, a guys face gets ripped off by a tiger in just one instance. Babies are ripped from the womb, people are burned... I think you get the point. So the movie switches modes and becomes a chase film as Jaguar flees, trying to get back to his child and significant other, while being pursued by some ticked off villagers.

       Up until then the movie was just an exercise in sadism. After the escape, it becomes pretty awesome. The chase is exciting as Jaguar tries all types of innovative methods to set traps for those chasing him. One thing that this movie makes clear is that Mel Gibson as a director has some serious issues. I mean, all the brutality in Passion of the Christ and now this. But the guy also has some serious skills. He knows how to set the action and raise the tension.

      I loved it. And I forgot to mention that the entire movie is in some Mayan dialect with subtitles for those of us who are not fluent in that lingo.

RATING: FIVE STARS

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THREE NIGHTS, THREE MOVIES, AND TOO MUCH TO EAT
a la The Flixter

       Well, it was Thanksgiving this past Thursday and, thank God, it was a nice day with the family. That is what the "eating too much" is about.  But after the meal, I headed off to the movie theater. What I saw on that day was Deja Vu, the new time-travel thriller with Denzel
Washington. The movie is directed by Tony Scott and produced by Jerry Bruckheimer so you know it will be loud, actiony, and fast-paced.

       It starts off with a ferry explosion in New Orleans that kills hundreds of US sailors and their families. I feel bad about saying this but that explosion is a spectacularly staged spectacle.  It turns out that it is the work of a domestic terrorist. Washington plays ATF agent, Doug Carlin who is investigating the situation. He is approached by an FBI agent played by Val Kilmer, who invites Carlin to use a top secret government surveillance system called Snow White. This system allows them to see exactly four days and six hours into the past. What starts off as a hunt for the culprit, turns into a mission to change what happened when Carlin develops an obsession with a female whose body was found among the victims. The only thing is that she may not have been aboard the ferry. Plus her body reveals that she did not die in the ferry explosion but was already dead at the time the disaster happened. So what brought her body to be part of those victims? That is what Carlin becomes bent on finding out; additonally, he starts to feel that he knew her somehow...  And his obsession makes him realize that it is possible to save her and all those above the ferry. 

    The movie is fast-paced and entertaining, if you don't start to question the how's and what if's...which I didn't. I just went with the flow and was thoroughly entertained.  Since it was Thanksgiving day, I wasn't the only one who headed to the movies. The movie was pretty packed but I didn't have to wait in line to buy tickets. Which leads me to the next movie.

    I had bought the ticket for Deja Vu the night before when I was at the theater to watch Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny.  This one finds Jack Black's JB and Kyle Gass' KG on a hunt to find the Pick of Destiny. Their band, Tenacious D, is not doing too well. That is when a record store employee, played by Ben Stiller, tells them about the pick which is actually Satan's chipped tooth.  Whoever possesses the pick can not be held back from rocking hard. The pick has been used by all successful musicians, from Mozart to Van Halen. The only thing is that it is now in the Museum of Rock and Roll. So now the two have to break into the museum and steal it if they want to rock. Good thing that the security at the museum is comprised of guards who are busy taking hits off a bong during after hours. 

      This was just an okay movie. Not as good as Black's other music oriented classic, School of Rock. There are some laughs here and there but hardly enough to cover the movie's running time. 

      And now for the third movie: on my way out of Deja Vu, I picked up a ticket for Friday night's showing of Casino Royale.  Let me say right off that I wasn't too crazy about Daniel Craig being picked to play James Bond. Heck, I have to be one of those rare Bond fans who thought Timothy Dalton was pretty good in his two turns playing 007. But, anyway, I was pleasantly surprised by Craig's portrayal.

      Here, after a slam-bang beginning in Africa that becomes an international incident and puts him on the boss M's bad side, he sets off to the Bahamas where a multi-million dollar game of Texas Hold 'em Poker is taking place which is going to aid terrorist banker Le Chiffre. Going along to make sure he doesn't waste his 10 million dollar allowance is Eva Green's gorgeous Vesper Lynde. Of course, romantic tension happens and Bond becomes a little vulnerable after falling for Vesper.

      But plot always takes the backseat in Bond movies. Its all about the action and the babes... And the action here is pretty damn good, though far apart at times. And the babe, like I said before, is beautiful. But there is no Q and therefore no cool weapons at Bond's disposal. And, dare I say, the ending is almost a little sad. But rest assured, Craig will be back as Bond. Plus the main song in this one is from one of my favorite artists, Chris Cornell, formerly of Soundgarden and currently of Audioslave.
So here we go...:

RATINGS:
DEJA VU: FIVE STARS
TENACIOUS D IN THE PICK OF DESTINY: TWO STARS
CASINO ROYALE: FOUR STARS

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Happy Feet
a la The Flixter

       Once again I found myself facing a quandary. The new James Bond movie, Casino Royale, came out on the same day as this animated film. As you may recall, I am a fan of both. So what did I choose? If its any help, look at the title above.

       We find ourselves in the realm of the emperor penguins and we find out that a heart song is key to their existence since the use that to find a mate. Which is where Mumble (voice of Elijah Wood) falls short. But its actually his dad Memphis' fault, since he dropped him as an egg while mom Norma Jean (Nicole Kidman) was off to catch some fish. So Mumble can't sing... He tries but is awful at it. So there goes his chance of hitting it off with his hoped-for mate, Gloria (Brittany Murphy). What to do?

       Oh, did I mention that Mumble can tap dance? Yes, he sure can do that. But that only further angers the elders resulting in poor Mumble getting booted from the colony. The poor kid has to wander solo, across the Arctic wilderness for some hope... And that's when he meets some Latino influenced penguins led by Ramon (a hilarious Robin Williams). Now this newly formed clan wanders together while encountering life threatening speed bumps such as killer sharks, sea lions, and an ice breaker ship. But they end up at the lair of the wise guru Lovelace (Williams again). By the way, I forgot to mention that Mumble's lack of singing talent is blamed for the lack of fish by his colony's elders. So the big inquiry from the wise Lovelace is also regarding what is happening to all the fish. They end up all joining together and forging ahead to see what is happening to the fish.

     I guess that is enough about the plot. How was it? Absolutely wonderful. The animation is beautiful and the action is swift and intense. Plus the movie is hilarious thanks in large part to Robin Williams' Ramon. And who could have imagined this sort of thing coming from George Miller, the director of what is in my opinion one of the most kick-ass action movies of all time, The Road Warrior. But he is the guy at the helm here and does an excellent job. I loved it and, in case you were wondering, mom loved it..

RATING: FIVE STARS

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BORAT
a la The Flixter

       The complete title of the movie is, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America to Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan. How's that for a mouthful? Good thing I didn't have to say the whole thing when buying the ticket... but here we go.

       Sacha Baron Cohen plays Borat Sagdiyev, an intrepid reporter from Kazakhstan. Over there he shows us his home and introduces us to the his people that include, a sister who is the number 2 prostitute in the entire village, and to the traditions such as the running of the Jews (you guessed right about what it is similar to). He comes to the US and A, along with his producer and travels from New York to California trying to capture what makes this country so great and how he can bring that knowledge back home. He meets real Americans and uncovers the many prejudices we may be harboring. But then, he is also an anti-Semite and sexist fellow who doesn't refrain from sprinting nude through a bankers' meeting or taking a dump outside NYC landmarks while visible to the passing public. He crashes a feminist meeting and inquires in his own innocent manner if the members are bothered by the fact that women have a smaller brain than men... Or when he goes to a car salesman and inquires how fast the Hummer would have to be going in order to kill a Jew. Let's not forget that his character is made up but the people he interacts with and gets responses from are real and unaware that they are being fooled into the comic's act. Then he comes across a picture of Pamela Anderson and falls in love with her. So the trip to California becomes a quest so he can marry this new found love.  He shows up at one of her book signings and throws a marital sack over her, trying to sweep her away in his own way... You can guess how that proceeds.

      Does all this sound ridiculous? Yup. And it is sure as heck funny. Hilarious is more like it. I, along with the rest of the audience, haven't
laughed this hard in a long time. I do think that they shouldn't have sold popcorn or other snacks at his movie because watching this movie and enjoying a snack at the same time could be a very dangerous combination. And to think that all this is coming from a Cambridge educated, practicing Jew...

RATING: FIVE STARS

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SAW III
a la The Flixter

        Before I get into the workings of this movie, let me just say that I hope to remember to tell you why it is a bad idea to go see this type of movie on opening night.... but I will explain that later. Now for more on the third and (maybe) final installment of the sick gore-fest that has been rewarding us on Halloween for the past couple of years. As we already know, Jigsaw (Tobin Bell) is a dying man. His final game is to put people, that he sees as unappreciative of their blessings, in a torturous hell so they can realize what they don't appreciate. Heck, they are going to die anyway, but the fun (I know I am sick) has been in watching how they reach that demise by way of some ingenious set ups conjured by the dying sicko.

       Well now, Jigsaw has an ally. Amanda (Shawnee Smith) has been working with the J man in carrying out his missions. Now she has kidnapped an ER doctor and wants her to perform some emergency surgery on Jigsaw. Of course, the doc doesn't have much choice in the matter since she has a bomb type thingee strapped around her neck which is set to go off if Jigsaw's heart stops. But Jigsaw must live to see how his latest victim fares. That would be Angus MacFayden's Jeff, who is being put through a hellish gauntlet so he can learn to forgive those who are responsible for his young son's death in a drunken driving accident.

       So people die in gory fashion, as expected. But I like the first two Saw films. There was almost something original there. Here, its getting to be overdone. You know there will be a twist towards the end; in the first two, the twist pumped some refreshing energy into the blood fest. Here, its just there to be a twist. Am I making sense? What I meant was that here, the twist just doesn't have the same impact that it managed to convey in the first two films. And what was I talking about when I said that its a bad idea to see this sort of film on opening night?

      Well, the theater was packed and many of the people were the types that I am sure you are familiar with.... the ones who can't shut the hell up. The ones who have to make sure everyone around them knows how disgusted they are with a character's bloody demise. And the ones who feel the need to offer their tips to onscreen characters like they can be heard through the screen and alter the outcome of a scene. Yes, there were plenty of those at this movie. It got annoying as heck but it would have been okay if the movie had turned out decent. I guess I was a loser in both departments.

RATING: TWO STARS

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The Prestige
a la The Flixter

        Its nearing the end of the nineteenth century and we are in London where magic is big and magicians are doing a brisk business. At the beginning of the movie, one of the top magicians, Robert Angier (Hugh Jackman) is killed in a trick that apparently goes wrong. Mind you, this is the newest film from Christopher Nolan, the great filmmaker behind such modern classics as Memento and Batman Begins. And like the former, this movie also jumps around in time... so what happens at the beginning is not necessarily the beginning. We learn in the later scenes about a bitter rivalry between Jackman's Angier and Christain Bale's Alfred Borden, another magician competing with Angier for the audience and now going to trial for the murder of Angier. They were once tutored by the same elder magician, played by Michael Caine.

       Additionally, they both were once friends and part of the same magic act until something went wrong at one of those performances and they became foes. Now they are constantly trying to top each other and lets just say that Borden is doing better. His act is better and so are the tricks. Which is why Angier sends his assistant/lover to go into Borden's camp to spy on him and get some of the secrets. That assistant, played by Scarlet Johannson starts to have questionable loyalty. Is she still Angier's spy or has she switched sides? Poor Angier even travels to Colorado (not exactly a hop/skip away from London) to meet with mad genius Nikola Tesla (David Bowie) and orders him to design a machine that will top Borden's act.

      The rivalry heats up, violence surfaces, and I was enthralled. The movie was absolutely great. The magicians and their methods are intriguing. The acting is great and the suspense is just as well. This is undeniably one of the year's best movies. Christopher Nolan, who wrote the script with his brother, is easily becoming one of the most promising directors around.  Loved it and had a great time even though I was still un-jumbling the goings on long after the movie had ended...   

RATING: FIVE STARS

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The Departed
a la The Flixter

         Yes, I am very late with this review. I can give you list of reasons but they'd just be excuses. But I feel that I have to say at least something about what just may be the best film of the year. So here goes...

         In this latest from that master of crime dramas, Martin Scorcese, we find ourselves in the midst of some Irish mobsters (for a change of pace.) But things are not that simple. Frank Costello (Jack Nicholson) is the big mob boss that the cops are trying to nail. So they send in a rat and that rat happens to be Leonardo DiCaprio's Billy Costigan, a cop who manages to get Costello's attention and gain access to his inner circle.  But, like I said before, things are not that simple.

        Costigan finds out that Costello already has a rat in with the cops and that is how things are happening. Every time that Costello is planning something, Costigan lets his bosses know and the cops are already there. But when the cops are planning their moves, Matt Damon's Colin Sullivan, the cop who is actually working for Costello, lets his real boss know what is up. So you have the good guy pretending to be bad and the bad guy pretending to be good. Sound like fun? Well it sure is to watch.

        The movie, beyond its underworld theatrics, is an actors' movie. You have the senior Mr. Nicholson, doing his usual great stuff. But then there are the two younger leads who give him enough competition as to who is doing a better job. Let's just say that everyone does a great job. And let's not forget Mark Wahlberg doing great as an angry young cop, trying to sniff out the rat in the midst. This was an absolutely great movie. Maybe the year's best. Just thought I'd let you folks know that much. Now I retreat back into my autumn slump that will end, hopefully, soon...   

RATING: FIVE STARS

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Hollywoodland
a la The Flixter

          I almost didn't see this movie. Due to some circumstances I don't feel like getting into, I had been awake for seventeen straight hours when the movie started.... So let me talk about that experience.

        The movie starts off on that day in 1959 when actor George Reeves took his life and left his fans, mostly kids, with a broken heart. Who? What? When? Well, George Reeves was the star of TV's Superman back then and like I just said, he took his life... Or did he? That is what Louis Simo (Adrien Brody) is trying to find out. The actor's mother can't believe that her son committed suicide and hires Simo to find out the actual events that led to his death. As Simo delves into the mystery, we find out some more about Mr. Reeves (Ben Affleck). So Reeves was a drunk with some serious relationship problems. His biggest acting job before Superman was a small role in Gone With the Wind that nobody recalls. But that is where he met Toni Mannix (Diane Lane), the wife of a movie executive and former mobster Eddi Mannix (Bob Hoskins). Additionally, she is the one who gets him the gig playing the Man of Steel after coaxing her husband into letting Reeves don the cape.  Anyway, Simo finds out that Reeves had actually given up Toni for some other groupie, and was considering pro-wrestling before the apparent suicide.

       Did I mention that I had been awake for seventeen hours straight when the movie started? Maybe that is the reason why I dozed off a couple of times during the movie. Or maybe its because the movie was so darn slow and boring; I think its a combination of both. Yes, the movie is incredibly slow and boring. Which is a shame since the actors do a fine job with what they are given. The period setting is also excellently detailed, but does it matter when the material within is snooze-worthy? I don't think so. The point being, I didn't like it but its the kind of movie that I am sure will have those other snooty critics raving about it.    

RATING: TWO STARS

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World Trade Center
a la The Flixter

          Here's the second movie to take us back to that terrible day, September 11, 2001. The first one was director Paul Greengrass' United 93.  This one is from director Oliver Stone.  It follows two Port Authority cops as they go into the twin towers to help in the rescue efforts after two planes go crashing into the buildings.  John McLoughlin (Nicolas Cage) and Will Jimeno (Michael Pena) start their day off like they have done so many days before....  then the unthinkable happens - a plane crashes into one of the twin-towers. They go inside as a second plane crashes into the other tower. And its while they are inside that the two buildings come crumbling down on top of them. The two are pinned under tons of rubble. The two struggle to keep themselves alive, waiting for rescuers. The hardest part is for the two exhausted officers to stay awake since falling asleep may mean never waking up. They talk and tell each other stories about their loved ones above ground. The loved ones, by the way, are in a state of torture themselves since they don't know if the two are still living. Their first impression is that the two didn't go into the towers. Once they find out that they were part of the first responders who went it before the buildings crashed, their hell begins as well.

          Meanwhile, the two officers are trying to find ways of telling the world above that they are still alive down there. The action goes back and forth between the underground hell and the above ground efforts at rescuing any survivors.  The two leads, Cage and Pena, give excellent performances as the two fight pain and exhaustion while keeping hope alive. The above ground cast is also superb. We know that two were part of only 20 people who were pulled from the rubble. This movie made me react in the same manner as Steven Spielberg's Schindler's List. How so, you may be thinking. Well, in Schindler's List, the rescuing of a few in the midst of millions killed during the Holocaust, gave a ray of hope. Over here, the reaction was almost the same when two lives were saved. Does that make sense to you? For me it showed a sign of hope. And who could have thought of something like that coming from a director like Oliver Stone?

Excellent movie..    

RATING: FIVE STARS

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Superman Returns
a la The Flixter

          So Superman has been gone for five years. Well, I am not talking about being gone from the screen. I don't really remember when the last Superman movie came out. Yes, it was that long, I guess... but back to the movie.

        Supe has been gone for five years and the reason for his absence is that astronomers found remains of his home planet, Krypton, and he went to see what else he could find. Five years later, he returns since there isn't much to be found. He crashes/lands his spacecraft on the Smallville farm of his adoptive mother, played by Eva Marie Saint. Then he returns to Metropolis in his layman guise of reporter Clark Kent (Brandon Routh).

        The boss at the Daily Planet ,Frank Langella, welcomes him back. Lois Lane (Kate Bosworth), who was in love with Superman, has given up on the Man of Steel since his disappearance; she has written a Pulitzer Prize winning article on why Earth does not need him... gotten knocked up, and is now engaged to the newspaper chief's nephew. So things are a little bungled up on the personal front... And now for the superhero part.

       Villain Lex Luthor (Kevin Spacey) is making his own sinister plans in another part of the city. He is planning on flooding most of the East coast, including Metropolis, with the aid of crystals he has obtained from Superman's Arctic hideout, the Fortress of Solitude. He causes a massive blackout which causes a plane overhead to short circuit and plunge towards the ground. But its not just any plane. This plane happens to have Lois Lane as one of its passengers. So Superman jumps into action, saves the plane, and brings it safely to the ground in the middle of a baseball stadium, packed with audience. Yes, that sure does make a nice entry back into the populace. From then on, its back to heroics and an effort to redeem himself in the eyes of his lost love.

        The movie, directed by Bryan Singer, who did awesome with the first two X-Men movies, is pretty spectacular to look at. But I should also mention that it is very slow for long periods of time. So slow that the guy next to me was snoring pretty loud on occasions... The highlight of this movie going experience happened off screen when the movie ended and the lights went on. My group, friends and cousins, were scattered around since the theater was packed. So when the lights went on, I saw that the four people
next to me were all sleeping. What woke them was the laughter of the people who saw them as they left the theater. Yes, it did get that slow and boring. But like I said before, it is pretty amazing to look at, and the action, when it happens, delivers. Brandon Routh does a pretty decent job as Clark Kent/Superman..    

RATING: THREE and 1/2 STARS

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Nacho Libre
a la The Flixter

          So what is my excuse for the delay this time around? Well, my cousin is in the army. Thank God, he is stationed here in the US and he is visiting home these days. So I have been kind of busy on that front. But here it goes:

         Jack Black plays brother Nacho, a cook at an orphanage/church in Mexico. Let's just say that he is not too good at cooking... and on top of that there is the financial problem. He doesn't get enough money to buy any decent ingredients. Well, ever since he was a kid, he had a passion for wrestling. But, of course, he can't participate in this type of activity while being a man of the cloth... and then he sees an open casting call for a luchador (or wrestler). So he throws on a mask, puts on a cape, and becomes Nacho Libre, a hot new thing on the wrestling circuit. Well, he's not too hot, actually. He gets his ass kicked a lot, but he still gets paid. He uses the money to buy some decent food for the orphans under his care. By the way, he also finds himself a partner for those tag team bouts. and this partner is just as incompetent at the game. Esqueleto, as he is known on stage, is a skinny and homeless thief. He and Nacho go up against more talented
competition, lose disgracefully, but walk away with money. But Nacho is not happy being a loser. He wants to win (or vin, like he says it). And there's a nun in his church that he develops a crush on... Yes, things are quite complicated.

       This is the new movie from Jared Hess, the guy who directed Napoleon Dynamite. And like that classic, this one also features a loser as the protagonist. But will this loser redeem himself by the end? What do you think?  The movie was absolutely hilarious. A great time. Just seeing the tubby Jack Black as a wrestler is worth a few laughs. I loved it.     

RATING: FIVE STARS

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BACKED UP, BUT STILL HERE
a la The Flixter

      Like the title says, I am a little backed up in my film critique. But, like the title also says, I am still around. So here it goes... 

      Movies open on Wednesdays or Fridays. But an exception was made in the case of The Omen. It opened on a Tuesday. Why? Because the date happened to be June 6 of 2006... or 6-6-06. Get it? The number of the beast and/or Satan. 666. I am not really superstitious but let's just say that I am not going to push my luck. So I waited till Wednesday to go see this one.

      Liev Shrieber plays an American diplomat in Rome. His wife, played by Julia Stiles, is pregnant, but consequently the child dies during birth, however, she doesn't know. The priests at the hospital offer him a deal. He can take the orphaned child from a different bed and claim him as his own and he goes for it. Somewhere else, a bunch of priests are telling the Pope that Revelations is coming true and the Antichrist is now going to surface. They show the Pope some news reels about global events that confirm the signs. There's the terrorist attacks of 9/11 and weather catastrophes around the globe. Yes, the Antichrist is coming.

      Meanwhile, the diplomat and his wife are at the fifth birthday party for their son, Damien. That is where, in front of all the kids, Damien's nanny hangs herself after dedicating her suicide to Damien. Things are definitely not right. By the way, the ambassador is now settled in London. That's where a priest, possibly nuts and played by Pete Posthelwaite, contacts him and tries to tell him about his son, because he knows what actually happened to the boy's mother in Rome. Then there's a photographer, played by David Thewlis, who has been following the couple and their child, taking photographs but finding only smudges where Damien should be. Like I said before, things are definitely not right. 

      I will admit that I have never seen the original or its sequels. So this was something new to me. How was it? Definitely creepy. Especially the young boy who plays Damien. I bet the child actor is going to be scarred for the rest of his life. The violence is brutal, and the acting fine. Yes, my sick mind loved it. Which brings me to the next movie.

     Cars. Yes, the G-rated latest from those geniuses at Pixar animation. This one takes place in a world of cars; yes, all the main characters are automobiles. When the cars are racing, the audience is other vehicles. Lightning McQueen (voice of Owen Wilson) is the hot shot that wants the coveted Piston Cup; that race is in Los Angeles.  And its on his way there that he ends up stuck in the hamlet of Radiator Springs. There he is caught for traffic violations and sentenced to fix the town's road before he can move on. The judge is voiced by the great Paul Newman. McQueen makes friends with a buck toothed tow truck (voiced by Larry the Cable Guy). Additionally, he starts to develop a crush on a Porsche (voiced by Bonnie Hunt) who runs a local motel. McQueen happens to uncover the truth about the harsh judge's past. Will he fix the road and move on to his dream race? Or is he going to help out this disheveled town? Well, just hang around and watch what unfolds in this absolute pleasure.

    Yes, as you already know, I love cartoons. And this one was just an awesome spectacle. The animation is absolutely awesome and the story is unbelievably touching. Plus it is hilarious. I can't even begin to cite the greatness of this motion picture. One of the year's best.  So here are the final verdicts:     

RATINGS:

THE OMEN: FOUR STARS
CARS: FIVE STARS

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The Break-Up
a la The Flixter

      I was having second thoughts about writing a review for this one. Mainly because its been a few days and you have probably heard a lot about it already. What changed my mind? Tomorrow's date. Well tomorrow is 6-6-06 and some people are calling for the end of the world. So I figured that I might as well write something in case, God forbid, it does happen. You know, a last thing type of thing. So here goes...

     Gary (Vince Vaughn) and Brooke (Jennifer Aniston) meet at a Chicago Cubs game. Things happen, sparks fly, and the two move in together... flash forward three years. The two are still together. Gary is a tour guide who just sits around playing video games and watching sports on TV. Brooke works at an art gallery. Things are not going too well since Gary doesn't do much around the house. He won't even help with the dishes. Things get bad when Gary doesn't pick up what Brooke asked him to pick up for a family dinner. That's when the two decide to split. But neither one will move out of their condo.

      So the split happens and the two continue living in the same condo but with separate areas for each. And that is when things are funny as Brooke distracts Gary from his video game play by marching around naked or when Brooke's brother (is he or is he not gay?) brings over his friends to practice their choir group's numbers... then Gary brings over his friends, complete with a bunch of girls for some strip poker.  Yes, things get funny with the unrelenting stubbornness of the two lovers. But, dare I say, when the ending happens, its almost a little sad. Yes, I said it. Its a little sad watching the two fall apart even though they managed to get together in real life. So there are funny bits but you have probably seen bits of them in the previews.  And that, folks, is my take on it.  If you are reading this, then the world has not ended and we have made it..    

RATING: THREE STARS

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The DaVinci Code
a la The Flixter

       Yes, I know I am a little late. Even though I saw the movie on opening night, I am finally getting a chance to tell you folks about it. Why? Well, there can be a few reasons, the main one being the one I hinted to in my confession. Or to sum it up, because I feel like crap. But let us move on.

       I always try to read the book, before I see its cinematic adaptation.  So I was reading the DaVinci Code when, bam, the movie came out. I think I am halfway through the book but this isn't a book review, is it? Harvard symboligist, Robert Langdon (Tom Hanks) is summoned to the site of a suicide in Paris. Seems that the chief curator (or something along those lines) of the Louvre museum has taken his life and arranged his body in the manner of a famous DaVinci art work. All he has left behind are some symbols and numbers which the cops need help deciphering. So that, plus a scheduled meeting between Langdon and the dead guy, is the reason why Langdon is brought in. He has no clue that he is also the primary suspect since part of the dying man's message mentions him by name. That's where the dead guy's granddaughter, Sophie (Audrey Tatou), comes in. She knows that Langdon is innocent so they both end up making a run for it. And as they try to solve the dead man's cryptic last message, they are pursued by a monk (Paul Bettany) who happens to be an albino with a fondness for self flagellation. In other words, he beats himself up.

      So the two are on the run, trying to solve the old man's riddles and dodging the authorities. Therefore, watching this movie ruined the book for me since I found out what is at the core of these strange happenings. But I don't think I have ever been to a movie theater that was as packed as this one. I guess all those who read the book, halfway or entirely, wanted to see how Hollywood would screw it up.

     But they would have been disappointed since the movie was excellent. Director Ron Howard shows, once again, how far he has come from playing the likes of Richie Cunningham. Additionally, Tom Hanks gives another great performance. I still think he is the best actor around. And the ending may be offensive to many, but it is definitely one that may make people question their beliefs and ponder the "what ifs".

    I Loved it. And I will still continue to read the book, even though, I know where it is headed...    

RATING: FIVE STARS

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Mission Impossible III
a la The Flixter

       Well its been a while since I saw this one. Why the delay? Well one reason would be the one I hinted at in my confession. But the other reason is that we are having some work done at my house... And those guys show up at seven in the morning. So there goes the beauty rest. But let us move on...

      Tom Cruise returns as Agent Ethan Hunt of the IMF. (That would be the Impossible Mission Force.) Well, Mr. Hunt has just gotten married when one of his bosses calls him up and tells him he's needed. So, of course, he lies a little and tells his wife that he has to go on an emergency business trip --- the subject of the lying. There seems to be a secret arms deal going down and its his mission, if he chose to accept it, to track down the guys involved.

     The main bad guy is Owen Davian, played by recent Oscar winner Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Davian is captured but, of course, manages to escape when the convoy carrying him as a prisoner, comes under attack by his allies. Additionally, he snatches the new Mrs. Hunt, played by Michelle Monaghan. Tables get turned as he demands Ethan get a device called the Rabbit's Foot for him. That would be in Hong Kong, hence, the globe trotting continues. We never really realize the purpose of this Rabbit's Foot. So I took it as more of a McGuffin than anything. What? That was a term used by the great Mr. Hitchcock to describe a plot element whose purpose is just to drive the plot without ever being explained fully. You just know its there, and must be gotten. The great David Mamet used it superbly to hurtle along his awesome The Spanish Prisoner. Over here, it is designed to do the same. And to an extent, it does while poor Tom spends the whole movie running all over the place so he can find this thing and save his honey. Does it work? Like I just said, to an extent it does. But things get a little overcomplicated and you just don't care as much as you had started to.

     There is some cool action and an excellent supporting cast which includes Laurence Fishburne and Ving Rhames. By the way, the movie is also jumbled up chronologically. The opening is what happens towards the end and what follows is what lead to that. Follow me? Not too bad but you get just about your money's worth...

RATING: THREE STARS

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United 93
a la The Flixter

       And here is the first movie about that dark day in American history. September 11th, 2001. Planes crashed into the World Trade Center
buildings and as the nation watched in horror... the two buildings came crashing down and left a hole in the New York City skyline. British writer-director, Paul Greengrass, turns back the clock and takes us inside United Airlines Flight 93 which was destined for a similar fate until the passengers on that flight decided to sacrifice their lives while protecting the nation's capital.

      We start off with the hijackers praying in a hotel room before they embark on their mission. We see the passengers board their final flight. The action goes back and forth between the in flight plane and the ground control officers who are seeing more than they have ever had to handle. Two planes have been hijacked and as they all watch in horror, one plane goes crashing into the WTC. Then a second plane crashes into the other tower. The terrorists on 93, hijack that plane with similar intentions towards its fate. The passengers are herded around and eventually decide that they will rise against these hijackers.

      Flight 93 crashed in the fields in Pennsylvania and its passengers thwarted the hijackers intentions of crashing the plane in the nation's capital.  The movie is hard to watch since it brings back so many memories from that day. You know the eventual fate of that flight but find yourself on the edge of your seat hoping that what is going to happen, won't. But it does.  An extremely sad and powerful film. That is about all I can manage to say...

RATING: FIVE STARS

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AMERICAN DREAMZ
a la The Flixter

       So there are a lot of parallels to the current state we find ourselves in... The country is at war and the President is pretty clueless about what to do... Therefore he spends a lot of time ducking the cameras and tries not to make too many public appearances and/or statements. That is where the Vice President comes in handy. He is the spin-doctor giving excuses and/or explanations. The hottest show on TV is American Dreamz. Its pretty much like American Idol (which, honestly, I have never seen). The host, Martin Tweed (Hugh Grant), hates his job and wants to end the show. In the Midwest, Sally (Mandy Moore) is preparing to make her big break on that show. And in the Mid-East, a terrorist in training, played by Sam Golzari, keeps screwing up during training exercises because his mind is too preoccupied by his other passion which is to sing and dance to Broadway tunes. So they all come together to make this movie a pleasure.

   The Vice President (Willem Dafoe channeling Cheney) sees a perfect PR opportunity in getting the President (Dennis Quaid) as a judge on the show. Omer, the terrorist guy, comes to the US and is told to get on the show so he can use the opportunity provided by the President's guest appearance to blow himself up and become a martyr.  And, of course, Sally is the one who is driven to snatch her one opportunity to make it big. The competition gets heated and Omer starts to have second thoughts about his mission. Of course, that would have been inevitable in a comic film from Hollywood. But, like I said before, the movie is a great pleasure. It is hilarious. Grant's Martin Tweed is designed after the cocky host of American Idol and does a fine job of making his character just as loathsome when he is judging the contestants. Quaid is great as the clueless President while Willem Dafoe is uncannily too much like the current VP.  It was all fun with an ending that will manage to make the crowds happy without compromising the entirety of the situation...

RATING: FOUR STARS

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The Flixter

CONFESSION TIME
a la The Flixter

       In case you haven't noticed, there has been a little lapse in my movie critique. The last thing I reviewed was Basic Instinct II. Was it so bad that it killed the movie-goer in me?  Well, it was pretty bad but I don't think it was enough to kill the movie fan.  No, there are other reasons behind my recent silence.

      The main ones to blame would be MS and drugs. No, I am not some coke-addict with a masters in science. I happen to have MS and the one I am dealing with is the disease. Of course, I had to get a disease as stubborn as myself. So, this incurable disease, has been acting up on me lately. Maybe its the
changing weather or whatever. I try not to pay too much attention to it, which I know is not good. But I just go along with it. I take my weekly shot and keep popping my pills (the medications that I mentioned earlier)... So that is basically it.

Thank God that I can go about doing what I can.

Thank God for my family and friends who go along with me.. and part of what I have been doing is going to the movies and writing about them. Lately, I have gone to the movies but just haven't gotten around to writing about them.  Anyway, here is a briefing about the post Basic Instinct II era.

     I saw Inside Man, the Spike Lee change-of-pace flick about a perfectly planned bank heist. Clive Owen is the master who plans it and Denzel Washington is the cop who comes in to save the day. Jodie Foster also comes along as an additional player brought into also help save the day.

     Yes, it was great fun. The performances were great, and the action pretty cool. Of course, Spike Lee couldn't resist putting some racial drama into the mix, but it was all good.

     Then I saw Lucky Number Slevin. Josh Hartnett plays Slevin who gets mistaken for a friend who is in some trouble with the wrong people over gambling debts. Lucy Liu is that friend's neighbor and she also gets pulled into the whole scheme of things when rival crime lords, Morgan Freeman and Ben Kingsley, go after the poor guy to get their money... Additionally, there is Bruce Willis as a hit man, serving both those mobsters in trying to get their money. The movie was twisted, complicated, funny, and ultimately very dark. I loved it.

     And lastly, I went to go see Ice Age 2: The Meltdown. It follows the gang from the first Ice Age as the try to face an impending end to the Ice Age. How will they survive? Moreover, Manny the mammoth is constantly reminded by his friends that he may be the last of his kind... And that puts him in a depressed stage--- until he meets a female of his kind. She is voiced by Queen Latifah; Manny is Ray Romano. There is also Denis Leary as Diego, the saber-toothed tiger. But the movie belongs to that little rodent type creature (I forgot what it actually is) and his quest to get the ever eluding acorn.

    This one was a decent movie. Not as good as the first but fun while it lasted.

... So that is all of it, folks. I am not going to give these three any stars or whatever. Just wanted to let you know that I am still around and hope to get back into the normal routine soon. Thank you...

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Basic Instinct II
a la The Flixter

       Talk about a long gap between the original and the sequel... When the first Basic Instinct came out, I was still in high school and not old enough to go watch the racy flick. But these restrictions cannot keep an adolescent male from his calling... So I did go see it and liked it despite what the budding critic in me would categorize as mediocre acting on Ms. Sharon Stone's part.  But I, along with many peers, didn't go to see her thespian qualities. What we went to see, we saw, and it was cool... and, honestly, the movie wasn't too bad.  And now, fourteen years later, we have an unnecessary sequel.

      Novelist/tramp/serial killer Catherine Trammel (Sharon Stone) has relocated to England, but she is still up to her old tricks. The movie begins with her driving a fast car while fooling around (I think that's all I should say) with her male passenger. She drives the car off the road and into the river (or some other body of water). She leaves, while the guy dies.  She is apprehended by the cops and goes on trial for murder, but she doesn't get convicted because there were no witnesses. However, Scotland Yard sees the need for a psychiatrist and puts her in the care of a shrink.  Dr. Glass (David Morrissey) starts to develop his own obsession with the blonde and falls into her mind games. So, basically, we have an unstable shrink trying to delve into this cold killer's mind but only falling victim to her games since she is always a step ahead, without him realizing this... Is she going to have him meet the same fate as other unfortunate lovers?

      I think that is enough about the plot, which is probably what the screenwriters of this crap fest thought as well. The movie is bungled, boring, uninteresting, and un-involving. There was a certain entertaining quality in the first one that is found nowhere in this one. Maybe its because Ms. Stone is an old lady now (come on, fourteen years have done their deeds on me!!). Maybe its because we have already been there in better hands (director Paul Veerhoeven there instead of Michael Caton-Jones here). Maybe its because I lost an hour of sleep thanks to stupid Daylight Saving Time. I don't know. All I know is that the movie was terrible..

RATING: ZERO STARS

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V For Vendetta
a la The Flixter

       The year is around 2020 or something. London is under the tyrannical rule of a chancellor (John Hurt) who appears before the public through TV broadcasts. The public has been scared into submission by threats of terrorism. Gays, Muslims, and anybody with a different political opinion is carted off to internment camps where they are subjected to medical experiments. This is where V (Hugo Weaving) comes in. He was in one of those camps and now rises up against the establishment with a Guy Fawkes mask on. Well his face was burned in an accident so the grinning mask serves a dual purpose of hiding his identity and disfigurement. ( Guy Fawkes was a rebel who tried to unsuccessfully blow up Parliament in 1605. ) Now V intends to do the same.

       V finds an ally in the form of Evey (Natalie Portman) whom he rescues from a group of attackers. So Evey sees V as a sympathetic rebel and joins him in his quest to do what Guy Fawkes failed at doing some four hundred years before. 

       There is the constant underlying tone of the film that compares this Orwellian England of the future to the current United States. Terrorists and threat of terrorism is used to keep the masses in control. Beyond a political allegory, the movie is just plain incredible. The action is constant and the threats believable. Its based on Alan Moore's graphic novel (or comic book, if you prefer) and adapted by the Wachowski brothers (the pair behind the Matrix movies). It raises quite a few questions regarding how justified one's methods of rebellion are... Hugo Weaving is great under that mask and Natalie Portman delivers a fine performance complete with a British accent.  By the way, the movie is directed by the Wachowski brothers frequent collaborator James McTiegue.

       Just a plain awesome movie. Loved it. Eye candy with a lot of depth...

RATING: FIVE STARS

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Failure To Launch
a la The Flixter

        Tripp (Matthew McConaughey) is a 35-year-old boat salesman.  He has the perfect relationship set up: he meets girls, has fun with them and does his manly things.  When he has had enough and its time to end the romp, he brings them home.  A home that he shares with his parents.  Yes, the 35-year-old is still living with mom (Kathy Bates) and dad (Terry Bradshaw).  When the girls find out about his living arrangements, they flee.  So Tripp has had his fun and nothing is lost... but his parents have had enough.  They want him out.  Instead of just facing the guy with their desire, they hire Sarah Jessica Parker's, Paula , who is an expert at getting this growing number
of the male population, those who still live at home, out of the parents' places.  She will meet the guy, start a thing, get them to fall in love
with her, move out, and then end the relationship.  Sounds simple.  Sure its cruel on the guys, but that's her occupation. 

      She proceeds to do the same with Tripp.  She goes along with all his demands, which include meeting his friends (also live-at-home guys) and participating in their manly sports.   Tripp starts falling and, in case you didn't know, this is a romantic comedy, consequently, so does Paula.  She goes past her professionalism and actually starts to take a liking to this man-child. 

      Like I said before, the parents' solution to getting their kid out of the house seems a little cruel.  Come on.  What parent wants their child with a broken heart?  Apparently, judging from Paula's professional success, a lot of them do.  But moving on from the plot's believability constraints, the movie is pretty disappointing over all.  There isn't much comedy in this romantic comedy... and the romantic part is undermined by predictability.  You know where its headed.  You usually do so in romantic comedies but the trip there is what makes or breaks the movie... and that trip here is not so entertaining.  How many jokes about To Kill a Mockingbird can you take?  Oh yeah, Paula's roommate is very perturbed by the annoying mockingbird outside their window and that's where those jokes come in.

RATING: TWO STARS

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16 Blocks
a la The Flixter

        I would have written this review last night but I was up a little late watching the Academy Awards. Sure, my pick for best picture (Walk the Line) was snubbed but it was fun watching Jon Stewart (big fan of the Daily Show) and seeing Crash win best picture. Anyway, let me get to the movie in question here.

       Detective Jack Mosley (Bruce Willis) is supposed to escort Eddie Bunker(Mos Def) to a courthouse where the kid is supposed to testify before a grand jury. His testimony is supposed to nail some corrupt cops in the department... 16 blocks is the distance they have to travel. Sounds simple enough, except for the fact that there are people who don't want this kid to make it there. Traffic is another problem and yet another problem is Mosley's alcoholism which makes him stop by a liquor store on the way since the traffic is not moving too much. That is where the first bunch of killers comes to dispose of this reluctant witness. Mosley sobers up pretty fast, disposes of the killers, and realizes the severity of the situation.

       They only have a short amount of time to get to the courthouse, so their mode of transportation goes from vehicle to foot in order to avoid the traffic and make it on time.  It turns out that the assassins are actually dirty cops, some of whom are Mosley's colleagues. They including a fine David Morse, want to stop Bunker from a testimony that will get them grilled.  So, thus begins a pretty tense movie going experience.

       The action is fast and to the point. My buddy Chich (a big fan of Mr. Willis) should be happy to know that this has to be Mr. Willis' finest performance in a long time. Mos Def, is also pretty good even though his nasal voice gets to be a little annoying after a while. But like I was saying before, the movie is pretty intense and action packed. Some may refer to director Richard Donner as a hack, but the guy behind the Lethal Weapon movies does a fine job here.  A very good time.

RATING: FIVE STARS

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Running Scared
a la The Flixter

        Joey Gazelle (Paul Walker) has to get rid of a gun that was used in some crime. Actually, Joey is in the mob and the gun was used
to dispatch some crooks who ended up being crooked cops; Joey hides it in his basement. His young son is friends with the Russian kid living next door.  That kid has a very abusive father with a John Wayne obsession. An obsession that has resulted in a giant tattoo of the Duke on the guy's back. Well, the Russian kid is over at the Gazelle's one day and the two kids come across that gun. He takes the gun home and ends up shooting the dad while he's on an abusive turn against the mom. Then the two kids panic and disappear with the gun. And it becomes Joey's quest to find them before the gun turns up and points towards its actual origins.

       So in the next eighteen hours you have the kids fleeing any signs of discovery and Joey in hot pursuit. The kids end up getting abducted by a couple of child pornographers, finding an ally in an abused prostitute, and going through a hellish gauntlet that no child should ever suffer. Additionally, Joey is chasing after them while there are some cops, crooked and straight, after him.

       Does it sound like your type of movie? Well, if you are still reading then it probably is. Was it my type of movie? Not really but I really got sucked into the seedy state of affairs. It is extremely violent and bloody.  Probably escaped an NC-17 rating barely. But, boy, did I like it or what; I had a really great time. It is probably Paul Walker's finest performance to date. Very dark even though there's the typical crowd
pleasing twist at the end which I could have done without. Writer and director Wayne Kramer shows signs of joining the likes of Tarantino and Lynch with his perverse cinematic vision. A sick movie but so much fun..

RATING: FOUR STARS

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Freedomland
a la The Flixter

        Brenda Martin (Julianne Moore) is from Gannon, New Jersey, a poor white-town neighbored by Dempsey, an even more impoverished, black-town.  She stumbles into the emergency room, bleeding. She was the victim of a car jacking. In comes police detective Lorenzo Council, played by Samuel L Jackson. He starts to question her, the main concern the point being if she was at all, raped. No she wasn't,but what she reveals is an even bigger shocker. The thief took her car not knowing that her four year old son was sick and sleeping in the back.

       Council knows how crucial things are since the crime happened in Dempsey. He knows that a race war will erupt once word gets out, so he rushes to get things done before this war erupts. He even turns to a group that specializes in finding missing kids. There are complications, of course, since Brenda is a former junkie. And why was she in Dempsey? And then her brother, who is a cop in Gannon comes in; he wants to find his nephew.

      Word gets out. There is a lockdown of Dempsey as the search for the missing child begins. Council was seeing some holes in Brenda's story which he overlooked in the panic caused by the revelation of her missing child. Things start getting messy. More so, since the incident comes at a time when tensions are running high between the cops and the citizens.

     So how was it? Well the acting, from both Moore and Jackson, is great. And you may not be able to tell from what I have said about the plot, but the movie was really slow and boring. So much so, that when there was quiet on the screen, I heard the loud snoring of a guy sitting in front of me. Movie prices are expensive but I guess its still cheaper than checking into a motel. Anyway, like I was saying, the performances are great but the movie is not so great. Pretty boring is more like it. The revelations at the end are pretty good but then there's the slow prelude that you have to sit through to get there.  An okay movie that seemed inclined for greatness...

RATING: TWO and 1/2 STARS

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Firewall
a la The Flixter

        Jack Stanfield (Harrison Ford) is the security head at a small Seattle bank; his wife, Beth (Virginia Madsen) is an architect. They have a nice quiet existence living, with their two kids (a boy and girl, of course), in a house that was designed by Beth. A perfect little family with perfect little goings on... That is until their home gets taken over by a gang of baddies, led by Paul Bettany's Euro-accented Cox. What could they possibly want? Well, since Jack is the man behind the security set-up at his bank, they want to have him help them to some money. Jack is supposed to go to work as normal and do his usual thing; but he is supposed to skim some money from his wealthiest clients and deposit it into an offshore account. He is supposed to pick the wealthiest clients and just take a few thousand from each
one; an amount that they won't notice but which will be quite significant once it is all added together.

      It seems like a nicely put-together plan.   Jack's family is being held hostage to make sure that he doesn't stray from the bad guys' intentions.  So Jack starts to do what he is supposed to do but you know that he is not about to play into the game all too easily. There is, of course, a change of mind as he starts to turn the tables on these thugs.. and his family starts to do the same on the home front.

      So how is this hostage/heist movie? Well, it wasn't too bad. There is enough suspense for your money, but Mr. Ford is getting a little old for physical action. It is kind of hard to be convinced of his ability to out-strength his much younger nemesis. But its a Hollywood movie, so you know that's what is going to be fed to you. And, of course, one of the kids has to have some health problem that will surely come into play. 

      Not too bad and not too great. This could also be the review that almost didn't happen since our Garden State got hit by a blizzard that dumped a couple of feet of snow. But I guess that criticizing Mr. Ford could be my way of venting some of the frustration caused by this storm. Well, whatever....

RATING: TWO and 1/2 STARS

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When a Stranger Calls
a la The Flixter

        I have been in a review slump lately. Sure, I have been hitting my local Cineplex regularly but just haven't had the chance for any critiques. But I figure that I should do something to let you folks know that I am still around. I know I am telegraphing the final verdict but I wish I could have ended my slump by reviewing something better. So here goes... 

       Jill (Camilla Belle) has been acting irresponsible with her cell phone. She has put 800 or so minutes on it recently, so her punishment is that she can't go to the bonfire that her high school is having. It is a big social thing where she would have the chance to hook up with the guy she has a crush on, so not going there is a fitting punishment in her parents opinion.  Instead she has to go babysit for some ultra-rich doctor's kids. The house is huge and gorgeous, but in a very isolated locale.

        Dad drops her off, and the doc and his wife show her around the home. The only thing is that the kids have the flu really bad and are up in their rooms sleeping. All she has to do is Just let them rest and keep an eye on things while the parents are away. The phone numbers are listed in case of any questions or emergencies. The folks leave and Jill is left alone in the house.  But there is also a house keeper who lives off the main house in her own little cottage... and there is pet cat so you know there will be plenty of false alarms where some noise will turn out to be just the cat. Then the phone rings; nobody says anything. But after a few more such phone calls the caller speaks. And its not a friendly voice. Instead, its a menacing and hissing voice of some guy who asks Jill if she has checked on the kids.

        Alone in a huge remote house, Jill starts to panic. It seems that the guy is watching her and knows where she goes in the house. She calls the police and they tell her that she has to keep the guy on the phone long enough to put a trace on the call. She tries but the guy seems to hang up just short of the required amount of time. Things start to get tense and then, well, the movie starts to get hectic in trying to wind up the eerie state of things. Then there is a physical confrontation between Jill and the Stranger which is pretty badly lit and edited. And, yes, the kids also become part of the game when Jill takes them out of their rooms to hide them somewhere. Like I just said, the movie is tense but when the ending starts to near, it just turns out to be a dud. Don't want to give away any details in case you are curious and want to check it out for yourself. But I was pretty disappointed. Good thing that the movie was less than ninety minutes long;  by the way its a remake of a 1979 film..

RATING: TWO STARS

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Hostel
a la The Flixter

        It starts off as an odyssey of lust and drugs for two American students back packing through Europe. Jay Hernandez and Derek Richardson are the two tripping dudes who are having a heck of a time with their Euro trip. Amsterdam, with all its legal offerings of drugs and sex, serves as just an appetizer. Then a fellow backpacker tells them about an almost mythical spot just outside of Bratislava; they check into a hostel there. The only thing is that they have to share their room with two hot girls. (And, by the way, the two hot babes don't bother with clothing too much.) Things look good until the girls slip them some pills and the two wake up chained to chairs... then begins the horror. They are now part of a club where wealthy folks pay big bucks to torture and kill helpless victims... and the torturing begins.

       The movie won't be easy on the eyes. Fingers are snipped off, eye balls are gouged, faces are seared with blowtorches, and everything unimaginable is brought to reality for the thrill of the sickos. (I hope you are starting to get the picture.) The movie paints Slovakia as a land of violence where even young kids will turn to violence in exchange for some bubble gum. Now I have been to Europe a few times. I even went through Amsterdam but, of course, didn't see that side of the city since I was young. So this movie actually showed me something about that city that my parents shielded me from. But Slovakia is the main course in this European roast. However, the movie is extreme, to say the least. Blood flows so opulently that you will start to look at your clothes from time to time to see if any spilled off screen... and body parts are hacked and severed aplenty. There is a twisty ending that serves the entirety of the situation pretty well.

      By the way, this one is directed by Eli Roth who was a protege' of directors like David Lynch and Quentin Tarantino. And you can see how they have influenced him. Tarantino is actually the producer here, but you are probably wondering what I thought of it? It may surprise you but I, despite having a great fondness for cartoons and escapist romantic-comedies, loved this gore fest. It was just so over the top and well executed.

      I had a great time. And that may qualify me as a sicko in your opinion. But I got what I paid for... It was fun, though, a little too overtly sickening at times.

RATING: FOUR STARS

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Munich
a la The Flixter

        This movie is based on true events that happened during the Munich Olympics in 1972. The Black September terrorist group attacks the Israeli compound in Munich's Olympic Village. People die and the calamity ends at the airport in a fiery confrontation, however, the men responsible escape. Israeli Prime Minister, Golda Meir orders a five-man assassination squad to track down and kill the 11 Arabs that are supposed to be responsible. Part of this squad is Avner(Eric Bana) who is forced to leave his government job and pregnant wife....and Avner is the central figure of attention as he begins to question his superiors' orders or the way he is supposed to carry them out. The shadowy Mossad leader(Geoffrey Rush) who commands them doesn't inspire much faith. Then there are two French informants who provide the whereabouts of the targets. The targets are located and eliminated one by one, along with a few innocents. But Avner is scarred; so much so that when he is making love to his wife upon his return, he is flashing back to the killings. 

     The movie is three hours long and, boy, does it feel like its three hours long. I am sorry to say that it was extremely boring. I may have even dozed off during a few occasions. The acting, though, was pretty good. Especially Eric Bana, whose only other performance that I have seen was in The Hulk. Director Steven Spielberg does a pretty good job of bringing the events of that horror, and its aftermath, to the screen. But like I said before, the movie is boring and slow, which was not to be expected from a movie dealing with terrorism, espionage, and assassinations.  An okay movie that will surely be hailed by many mainstream critics. But I am not mainstream, am I?

RATING: TWO STARS

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King Kong
a la The Flixter

        Ann Darrow (Naomi Watts) is a struggling actress in Depression-era New York City. Her struggle becomes harder when the play she has been in, closes, down and she finds herself searching, like many others, for any sort of employment. She just happens to catch the eye of Carl Denham (Jack Black), who sees her pained and desperate reflection in a store window into which he is peeking...  He also happens to be desperate, but he is a desperate director/producer who is looking for someone to replace the spot left empty by an actress. He sees the perfect fit in Ann (not in terms of dress sizes, though, since the actress who left was a size four). So he and his crew, which includes a reluctant screenwriter (Adrien Brody) who is literally forced along, add Ann to their ranks and supposedly head off to Shanghai.

       But Denham's intended destination is Skull Island. When they arrive there, they aren't really welcomed since the island is populated by some nasty looking, and acting natives, and hordes of dinosaurs. Around an hour into the movie, the giant ape of the title enters the film and is instantly smitten with probably the first blond he's ever seen, in the form of Ms. Darrow. She in turn enchants him with her tricks consisting of singing, dancing, and juggling. The ape falls hard for her and becomes her protector in the hostile environment. By the way, he also snatches her from the rest of her crew and runs off into the woods with her. Along the way, there are some confrontations with
dinosaurs who make the mistake of trying to attack Kong's new love. But the rest of Ann's crew catches up with the two and Denham sees a bigger prospect than the picture he was shooting. Kong is subdued and brought back to New York City where he becomes part of a show that Denham puts together. However, Kong is still looking for his love and things get nasty when he sees his blond replaced by another performer on stage.... And things get messy when he breaks free and goes searching for his love. It is hilarious how he picks out any blond he sees among the panicking crowds, and hurls them to the ground when he realizes that she is not the one. Of course, he finds his and the two reach their fateful destination atop the Empire State Building.

       Anyway, the point is that the movie is an absolute spectacle. Amazing to look at, hilarious at quite a few times, and ultimately tragic. You know how it will end and are still saddened when it does.... Director Peter Jackson does an amazing job. It may seem long, at over
three hours, but its a fast moving three hours once you get past a slow first hour.  The performances are great, and the special effects are equally so.  Loved it... Can't wait for a sequel as long as it doesn't involve Godzilla or some other Japanese movie monster..

RATING: FIVE STARS

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Aeon Flux
a la The Flixter

        The year is 2415, and it turns out that 99 percent of the world's population was wiped out by a plague some time ago. Survivors live in the walled city of Bregna under the leadership of Trevor Goodchild (Marton Csokas). As always is the case in these sort of situations, there are rebels trying to overthrow this dictator. Part of this insurgency is leather-clad Aeon Flux (Charlize Theron), who besides doing gymnastics all over the place (stunt double, of course) is able to catch flies in her eye lids. She is given orders by the leader of the rebels, a Carrot Top inspired Frances McDormand, to assassinate Trevor. So Aeon goes about trying to accomplish this, but a slight complication rises when she realizes that Trevor was actually a lover. But now business comes first, so assassination is a must. 

       Now let me digress a bit, but you will find that this digression is a key to my review. Before the movie, when I went to get my popcorn, I fell victim to a very forceful sales pitch. I usually get a regular-sized popcorn. But the girl said that for only fifty cents more I could get a Value-sized popcorn; for some fateful reason, I gave in... which is why I kept sitting through this film. No, not to see the outcome of the crappily-staged action sequences, but to finish this huge thing of popcorn I had so naively purchased.  As soon as the p